Being Lost

Sometimes I forget what's important to me. I think it's something we all do from time to time. It is so easy to get caught up in what's happening immediately in front of you and lose sight of what mattered for so long before that.

I love my job. I love the creativity, I love the challenge, I love making a difference.

But I don't love that I have lost so much of myself. It is a simple excuse to tell yourself that you'll get to it later. I'll have time later. I can do that later. But when you put off what you love, something that makes you uniquely you, you're only sacrificing yourself. But what's worse than being the one to sacrifice yourself, is that you are now depriving the world of your talents and abilities. Think of people you respect, admire, and love. Now think of what would happen if they didn't give their full potential to the word every day. Think of how much beauty would be missing from the world if Shakespeare hadn't written; if da Vinci hadn't painted; if Sinatra hadn't sung? They all had talent. And none of them ignored it.

Last night when I was asked if I had any resolutions or goals for the new year, I struggled to think of any. But I was wrong, I do have one very important goal. To stop being lost. To stop hiding behind excuses and one million reasons why I should put things off. To start being true to the things I love to do that I've stopped doing.

There's always reasons not to. In 2012 I will find reasons to.

Hello, 2011!

Happy New Year friends!

I hope that everyone has had a safe and happy holiday season and all are rested and refreshed and ready for Monday morning!

This morning at church they showed a video encouraging people to make 2011 a year to be a better you. Set 3 attainable goals and work to make yourself a better person... that kind of thing.

What is it about the "New Year" that encourages us to make resolutions and changes to the life we have been living? Not that I am any exception to that rule, I make and break New Year's resolutions with the rest of America. I even fall into that trap where you say, "I'm not making a resolution, I'm just going to better myself." But by February I am mostly back to my same old behavior.

Did that stop me from making a resolution this year? Well, not really. But I am (once again) doing it under the guise of just "bettering" myself.

But here's the thing about 2011-- it's the first year that I am living free from the confines of school and earning my education. In a way, I feel like this is the first time I am living for me. Not that I wasn't earning that degree for myself, because obviously I was. But there is a difference, at least to me, between what I was doing then and what I am doing now. It's the first year I get to spend doing things I want to do. Well, and working. Doing things I want to do and working.

So, what are my pseudo-resolutions/the things I want to do?

1. Live Healthier- I know, that sounds just like the resolution 67% of America made. But it's a little different. I am not attaching to it a weight loss goal or something lofty like that. I am just trying to feel healthier. I spent the majority of 2008 and the bulk of 2009 being one of those people who exercised everyday and who was able to say no to junk food. I was not one of those people in 2010. And I feel worse for it. I want to spend 2011, not crash dieting or sporadically exercising, but changing my lifestyle to that of a healthy person. I don't have lots of distractions lined up in 2011 the way I did in 2010. (No internships, no graduations, no cruises. There are some pesky weddings and a trip to Vegas hanging in front of me, but with the right mindset, those are surmountable.. right?)

2. Be less stressed. Because we all wouldn't do that if we had the opportunity, right? But this year, I do. With no projects, or observations, or deadlines looming ahead all I need to do is set myself up for success. I'm going to get up earlier, go to bed earlier. Rather than rushing to get out the door so I'm only 20 minutes late, rather than my usual 30, I'm going to get allow myself more time, rather than scheduling things too close together. I'm going to make it my mission to be less worried about time and more worried about enjoyment.

3. Get my book published. For those of you who do not know, I wrote a book, so the next logical step is to try to get it published. The thing is, with all the research I've done, it seems like a lot of work to get it published. Not really what I was aiming for. So, I am going to wait until the end of January to see how a few connections I have pan out, but after that I am going to actively pursue the challenge of publishing my book. I'm not looking forward to it, but- I'm going to do it. With great ambition comes great reward, right?

And there are my three "attainable" goals for 2011. Perhaps not the three easiest things I have set out to achieve, but there they are nonetheless.

Here's to 2011, which I am dubbing the Year of Me. Also, probably the year of Madison, since my sweet little niece will be born in May and I'm already spoiling her. So, the Year of Me and the Year of Madison (and Emmett, and Nichole... Mothers, you know who are and what you've done to my bank account.)

Hopefully you are able to make 2011 the Year of You, too.